Rock Chicks

I would like to take a few paragraphs to comment on the latest crop of Rock Divas.

Christina Aguilera definitely has the most talent.  She can actually sing.  Her voice is strong enough that she doesn't need an amplifier.  She can wail old school.  Plus, she's the only one who tries to be an artist, each of her albums has a distinct feel and sound.

Pink (I'll forgo the exclamation point) consistently over-performs.  She should be cheap, throwaway pop.  But all of her albums deliver above my expectations.  True, a divorce may have fueled her latest creation, but I can keep going back to her songs time and time again.

Avril Lavigne is the anti-Pink.  She should be much better than she is.  She probably made millions by tieing-in her clothing line with the bubble-gum-pop album she released.  But come on, she has more talent than that.  Though she does look good in a plaid mini-skirt.

Beyonce is a gorgeous model.  She's a good actress.  She can't sing.  She's known as a singer.  Sometimes entertainment baffles me.

Things to Do While Your Money Evaporates

We gave the big firms on Wall Street all of our money and like the Good Samaritans they are, they took it.  So while you're watching your retirement go down the tube (while Social Security is being raided) here's a list of things you can do.

6.  Visit your favorite porn star's MySpace page.  That's all MySpace is good for.  Alexis Silver has a pretty good one.

5.   Play King's Bounty.  I think this game has been played by all of three people.  But it's pretty good.  Much better than the over-hyped Spore, and a break from brain death by shooter.  This solo game makes me remember why I like video games.  

4.  Switch to Google Chrome.  Yeah, its the browser that no one uses.  But I like it.  It's a nice step forward in browser technology.  Most of the innovations are under the hood (but super cool) so the front end user won't notice them.  However, take a tour through the product introduction (written as a comic book) and you'll enjoy the improvements over Internet Explorer.

3.  Watch The Shield.  Yeah I know.  All the critics say to watch this show so no one does.  But it's good.  I promise.  Michael Chiklis  is a good actor when he's not in a cheesy Thing rubber suit.  This show will push your moral boundaries.

2.  By an iPhone (assuming you have $300 after Wall Street is done with you).  I haven't stopped playing with mine since I got it.  Plus, it's pretty easy to hide at work.  

1.  Watch The Wire.  Another show that critics like so no one watches.  And it's been cancelled.  Episodes can be downloaded to iTunes pretty cheaply, though. One of it's themes is overwhelming bureaucracy, something that anyone who works for a computer software company should be able to relate to.

Pabst Blue Ribbon

When I was growing up, "Pabst Blue Ribbon" was the beer that people from the trailer park drank. When did it become popular with young people? Now when I go to a bar, I see perfectly respectable young people who seem to have no criminal records drinking it. Next thing you know, they'll be serving Old English at Mortenson's.

Crappy Seventies Restaurants

I just got back from visiting a place in Denver called the Funky Buddha. Its supposed to be a really happening joint, and they're were a lot of young people there. I guess that says something about me if I comment on the amount of young people.

But I don't get the fascination with 70's restaurants like this one -- bad decor, bad food, bad beer, and uncomfortable seats. I mean, there's a reason that the seventies are part of the past: everything was bad.

Of course things might have been better if the food and drinks were at seventies prices, but sorry, the tab was all 2008.

Save Me From The Avocado

Is there a more overrated fruit/vegetable/thing than an avocado? I mean, it doesn't even taste. It's got its own dip (guacamole). It seems to be in every food. But what does it really do? Nothing if you ask me. Don't get me wrong. I know they're plentiful in California. So they have a huge profit margin. And to me it tastes like it. Can't we come up with anything more flavorful then this thing?

MicroBook (FaceSoft?)

Now that all the hubbub around Microsoft/Yahoo is fading, Ballmer has finally turned his attention to an acquisition that actually makes sense -- Microsoft and Facebook. Of course the Wall Street analysts won't like it, mainly for two reasons:

1. The CEO's don't hate each other. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has resisted attempts before at a take over, but Microsoft already has a small investment in Facebook. Assuming Zuckerberg wants to sell at all (and that's a BIG if) there should be very little dick measuring before this deal is done.
2. Not enough people will be fired. Facebook has 500 employees, Microsoft 100,000. Microsoft could swallow this company whole with very little layoffs. Some executives may be let go, but they all have packages. Make sure you wave to them next time you see them on the beach (assuming you can still afford to go anywhere with a beach).

What Microsoft needs is a platform from which to push out Internet applications. This is what Google has that no one else does. Yes, search gets all the press (and let's face it, generates the money). But once you're at Googles web site, you can use applications such as Blogger, Google Docs, and Google Earth. And it doesn't matter what kind of computer you have. And you it doesn't crash. And you don't have to download updates. And -- well, you get the picture.

Google acts as an operating system for the web. That what scares Microsoft. With a little work, Facebook could become Microsoft's operating system for the web. But the acquisition makes too much sense. I'm sure it won't go through.

CNN Hotties

I would say the women with the highest looks to intelligence ratio work for CNN. Namely, they are Campbell Brown, Soledad O'Brien, and Erica Hill (pant, pant). I don't know who they are married to, but their husbands struck it rich in the gene pool: all of their kids will look great and be able to do Calculus.

With excuses that Katie Couric is giving about leaving CBS (male chauvinism, bad producers, etc...), has anyone noticed how good Campbell Brown is at filling in for Anderson Cooper? Of course, I think I'm one of three people in the nation that watch Anderson Cooper, but Campbell Brown is ready for the Big Time.