Shopping for Men's Shoes and Eye Wear

I have made the mistake recently of trying to shop for a GOOD pair of men's shoes. After spending most of my life in a $30 pair sneakers, I decided to upgrade to a pair of expensive shoes. Not necessarily dress shoes, just a pair of shoes that looked good Big Mistake. After seeing the travesty that accounts for men's shoes these days, I came up with three questions for shoe companies.

1. When did it become fashionable for men to wear flip-flops? No matter what their price tag, they're still flip-flops. No man should be wearing flip-flops unless there is a beach around. I live in Colorado, I a see men wearing a $200 pair of jeans and flip-flops in 45 degree weather. Stop the madness. Any male over the age of thirteen caught wearing flip-flops without any sand around should be forced to take a three day bar tending course to improve his flow of testosterone.
2. Who decided that men should wear tassels? I don't remember anyone asking me. I want shoes that man people say "that man has taste" not "that man is either gay or just came in from hunting in the Serengeti." Again, punishment for tasseled men should be make them cut the tassels off of their shoes, take a three day bar tending course, and dig ditches for two weeks.
3. Why penny loafers? The penny loafer is the epitome of bad men's shoes. No self-respecting man should be caught alive or dead in them. Those caught still breathing and wearing the worst fashion statement ever made should take a three day bar tending course, dig ditches for two weeks, and build a Habitat for Humanity house -- by themselves.

The state of men's shoes is pathetic. And don't bother googling "good men's shoes" because the results are not. It's enough to make one stick to the bargain bin at Famous Footwear.

Of course some designer could solve this problem, then maybe he could move on to the sorry state of eye wear. Didn't anyone watch that Seinfeld episode? It's been over a decade. Men have two choices for eye wear:

1. Glasses that haven't changed since the 1950's.
2. Glasses that look better on women.

No wonder everyone complains about how men dress.

Who decided that men want to wear tassels on their shoes?